The Great Big Argument transcript
Prologue: The Simpsons theme tune intro Female Robotic Voices: The Simpsons Clancy: back with a brand new 27th season Simpsons Theme Music Playing In Background Jimbo and Kearney saw off the head of the Jebediah Springfield statue in front of the town square, and the head falls off on Ralph, about to eat an ice cream treat. Ralph: AAAAAAH! The scene goes over to Springfield Elementary School, where Bart is writing I will always remember Mrs. K Flanders 13 times, then the school bell rings, and he gets outta school on his skateboard, and lands right into a pile of leaves Groundskeeper Willie had just finished raking up. Bart jumps right outta the leaf pile and Barney shows up. Barney: Lightly The next scene goes over to Homer getting ready to head back home with a uranium bar stuck on his back. In the background, Lenny and Carl are putting up the number 3 over the number 2 on a sign that says Days Without An Accident. However, they both fall off the ladder. Whistle Sound Marge, Maggie, Patty and Selma are checking out with the groceries. The items on the conveyor belt include Tomacco juice and Mr. Sparkle power clean detergent. A box of Krusty-O's is scanned, and the total amount on the register changes from $236.60to $243.26, which means the price of the cereal is $6.66. Maggie is mistakenly scanned too, which doubles the register total to $486.52, and she is mistakenly packaged with the groceries. Marge looks mildly concerned but smiles just as Maggie pops outta the bag. Maggie sees Baby Gerald and angrily shakes her right fist at him just as Gerald does the exact same. During Dewey Largo's music class, more characters are shown in the orchestra. Recognizable characters include Wendell, Database, Martin, Jessica, Richard, Lewis, Janey, Milhouse, Sherri and Terri. Playing Intro On Saxophone Right after Homer discards the uranium bar, it lands on Otto. Otto, not knowing what it is, eats it. Bart skateboards by and turns the corner with a muted whoosh. He skateboards past Sideshow Bob, Helen, Apu and his octuplets, Moe, Comic Book Guy, Disco Stu, Crazy Cat Lady and Chief Wiggum, who waves his night stick. Hans Moleman peeks outta the sewers in the middle of the street, but Marge's car slams it shut just as it passes by. Clang! Abe is seen in the passenger seat with Maggie in the middle. Horn Honking Homer is standing by the garage, and Lisa scoots by past him on her bicycle. Homer: "D'oh!" The other car pulls up...... Homer: WAAAAAAAAAH! Homer runs around into the garage for safety. Bart, Lisa, Maggie, Marge and Homer are about to sit on the sofa, but Kermit, Gonzo and Walter from the Muppet series are sitting there. Music Ends Scene 1: Outside the Simpson family's house Bart: "Hey, Milhouse, catch!" Bart throws the blue Frisbee over to Milhouse, and he catches it with both hands. Milhouse: "Go long, Santa's Little Helper!" Milhouse throws the blue Frisbee over to Santa's Little Helper, and he uses his mouth to catch it as well. Bart: "Man, we can always do this every single year." Vase Shatters Homer: (from inside the Simpson family's house) "What the crap was that noise?" Homer rushes outside to see the now broken golden vase. Homer: "Oh my word, the golden vase, who could've done something like this?!?" Homer: "Hey, Kirk, I know it was you, don't even say it wasn't!" Kirk: "Seriously, Homer, I wasn't anywhere near that vase!" Homer: "Well, you probably don't have any common sense, bald headed blue haired man!" Kirk: "Duff Beer and donut lover!" Homer: "Duff Beer and donut lover?!? oh, I'll show you!" Milhouse: "Uh oh, here we go again." Homer and Kirk walk over to Bart and Milhouse. Homer: "Bart, tell Milhouse to go back home, from now on, we're gonna have nothing to do with him or anybody else named Van Houten, ever again!" Homer takes Bart's blue Frisbee from Bart's right hand. Bart: "But, Dad, Milhouse is my best friend for life, you can't send him away." Kirk: "Not anymore, come along, Milhouse, from now on, the Simpsons and the Van Houtens are sworn enemies!" Milhouse: "Goodbye, Bart, I'll never forget about you!" Bart: "Hey, don't worry about it, Milhouse, arguments can't last for a very long time." Homer and Kirk take Bart and Milhouse back into their own houses. Homer puts up a sign at the door that says No Van Houtens Allowed, EVER!!!. Meanwhile, in Bart's bedroom...... Bart: "Bart to Milhouse, come in, Milhouse." Holographic Milhouse: "I hear you loud and clear, Bart, I just got Itchy and Scratchy Racers 2 for the Funtendo 3DD, it's super awesome." Bart: "Then count me in!" Bart and Holographic Milhouse begin playing Itchy and Scratchy Racers 2 for about a couple of hours, 'til Homer opens Bart's bedroom door and enters Bart's bedroom. Homer: "Aha, (he stares at Holographic Milhouse) Milhouse, I'm not up against you, but this is a Van Houten free home right now, from now on, we'll have nothing to do with you or this video game, ever again!" Homer turns off the holographic image of Milhouse. Holographic Milhouse: "Goodbye, Bart, I'll see you later." Holographic Milhouse disappears lightly. Bart: "Dad, it's just not fair." Homer: "Oh, Bart, I know this seems hard for you, but don't worry about it." Bart: "But I wanna hang around and play with Milhouse." Homer: "Not to worry about it, Bart, you'll be making plenty of other good friends, but non Van Houten friends." Later that night, while Bart, Lisa, Maggie, Marge, Snowball V and Santa's Little Helper are asleep, Homer is putting out more signs to keep the Van Houten's out, due to the great big argument. Homer later goes back inside, and falls asleep in his and Marge's bedroom. The very next morning, Bart is eating a breakfast bowl of Itchy and Scratchy cereal, while Marge is at the kitchen oven, getting out a boysenberry pie she just baked as an offering of peacefulness to the Van Houten family. Bart: "Mom, I can't live like this, you need to do something about it." Marge: "Way ahead of you, Bart, fathers can be such crazy heads, that's why I baked a boysenberry pie as a peace offering to the Van Houtens." Lisa: "Mom's always right, Bart, nobody can stay fed up during a great big argument when they're sharing boysenberry pie." Meanwhile at the Van Houten family's house........ Kirk: (from inside the house) "Oh, sweet mother of mercy, I'm itching like crazy, I've got terrible goose bumps!" Kirk shows up with purple rashes all over him. Luann: "You should've known my husband is allergic to boysenberry pie!" Marge: "But I'm terribly sorry, I was just trying to sort things out!" Luann: "Well, Marge, you absolutely have no common sense at all!" Marge: "You take that back, Luann, I've got plenty of common sense!" Marge exits the Van Houten family's house, then over to Bart, Lisa, Maggie, Homer, Snowball V and Santa's Little Helper. Marge: "Bart, I don't wanna hear anything about Milhouse or anybody else named Van Houten, ever again!" Bart: "Great, just great, 1st Dad, and now Mom, how could my entire day get any worse?" Meanwhile, back inside the kitchen. Bart: "I might as well spend the rest of my entire day inside." Ralph: (from inside the bottom cabinet) "Hey, Bart, over here." Bart opens up the bottom cabinet. Bart: "Hey, Ralph, what are you doing here?" Ralph: "I'm here to bring you and Milhouse back together again, with a rap message." Ralph: Yo, Bart, it's you I've been missin', but our moms and dads just won't listen, it's makes us terribly upset, if you don't ever come back. Bart: "Thanks for the show here, Ralph." Category:Transcripts Category:Season 27 transcripts